Many of the statements we make are used for control, gaslighting, and distortion, and sometimes we’re the unknowing victims.
Here’s a bit of truth to get started. Everyone uses manipulative phrases from time to time. However, the intentional habitual act of using manipulative words is entirely different.
Manipulation is an unhealthy psychological strategy to gain power, basically. Narcissists use these phrases quite often. And it’s difficult to recognize when you’re being manipulated sometimes.
Recognizing manipulative phrases
People use manipulation to get what they want, plain and simple. They use tactics such as lying, guilt-tripping, gaslighting, blame-shifting, and passive aggression. But it can be tricky when noticing that this is happening to you.
Sometimes you’re already in a mess when you realize what’s happening. So, here are several phrases to look out for.
1. “You’re over-reacting”
I bet you’ve heard this frequently, haven’t you? This is because telling someone that “making a mountain out of a molehill” is common.
In case you’re wondering, that’s an expression that many parents actually use. When children get upset, parents sometimes say it’s an overreaction. Also, when your partner is angry with you, it could be a statement they use.
It is also a red flag. Even though many of us have said this, pay attention to the one who uses it every time you need to be heard.
2. “If you love me, you’ll do it”
This is such a heinous thing to say. The worst part is that it’s a common statement. I mean, how many times have we heard our loved ones tell us that we should do things to prove our love? I bet this has happened to you many times, and you know what? It’s unhealthy.
In fact, this sort of talk can cause severe emotional damage. And, when it comes to doing something that seems impossible, this statement can make us feel like failures. And yet, it’s blurted out so often.
3. “You’re being dramatic”
This trick with this statement is that most of the time, whoever says this is the real culprit. If someone says “You’re being dramatic”, they have already caused a scene or started a fight. They will start many more fights and altercations in the future too.
Watch out for these words and see them for what they are – manipulative phrases.
4. “You think you’re a saint”
This is one of the most irritating manipulative phrases out there. Many times, during arguments, a narcissistic individual will yell,
“You just think you’re some kind of saint, don’t you?”
And the reason they do this is to deflect the fact that they think they can do no wrong, and also because they cannot find a rebuttal to the argument.
It’s so common that we often think it’s just part of an ordinary argument. However, these hurtful words strive to demean us and gaslight us into thinking the wrong things about ourselves. That’s why we must recognize them.
5. “It’s because you did this.”
It’s kind of difficult to word this common phrase, but basically, a manipulative person wants to shift blame. They’re saying that whatever they’ve done is a direct response to something you did first.
For example, if you get into a fight with your sibling, they may say they stole money from you because you left it out in the open. But this is no excuse. No matter what happens or what’s said, you are responsible for your own actions. Using an action to justify a reaction is just plain manipulative behavior.
6. “Oh, I would never do that.”
Never say never. That is what I’ve learned in life. I think everything I said that I wouldn’t do as a child became something I’ve done, honestly.
But this phrase becomes manipulative when one of your friends is being judgmental while pushing you to blindly trust them. When in truth, the very thing they are judging about someone else, they’ve probably already done.
7. “You’re so paranoid”
Narcissists love to say this and use it as a tool for gaslighting. Yes, many people say this to their friends, loved ones, and family, but sometimes it’s not so innocent.
When your loved one calls you paranoid, they may be saying you are imagining things, or you are delusional. When in fact, many times, you are just catching your loved one in a lie. The paranoid statement is one of the most common forms of deception.
Manipulative phrases and your intentions
Afraid of using your words? No worries. Sometimes people say things and they don’t mean to be manipulative. Good-hearted people and narcissists can use the same phrases. The key to this is putting all the pieces of the puzzle together. And if someone you know uses all these phrases, then be careful.
There are many manipulative phrases that people think are normal, and that’s why I wanted to share a few with you. It’s always important to stay aware of your acquaintances, especially the people in your close circle.
Pay attention to the way they speak to you. Do they say these phrases often? Do they seem genuine? Just use your smarts and you should be able to tell the difference.
I wish you the best and be careful out there.
- 7 Manipulative Phrases Most People Think Are Normal - January 28, 2023
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- 7 Reasons Why Some People Are Never Happy for Others - January 8, 2023
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