How To Stop Seeking Approval From Others & Get On With Your Life!
Seeking approval from others is a deep need for many.
From the time we are children, we are constantly looking up to our parents, elders, teachers, role models and friends to be accepted and in alignment with others and the world around us. As a result, it creates an internal belief system that we must take on other’s opinions and feelings about ourselves rather than formulate, learn about and listen to our own inner guidance system. For the past year I have had the pleasure and opportunity to write for Collective Evolution’s magazine and online portion of their web site. I have always had a dream of sharing my thoughts openly, honestly and publicly to assist and help to further instigate change in people’s lives with my writing. While I have gathered plenty of positive feedback from my sharing over the past year, I hadn’t been as well prepared for some of the negative backlash from reader’s who took offense or didn’t quite agree with my opinions and narrative in quite the same way. Consciously I understood that not everyone would agree with the things I’d have to say, but subconsciously it affected me and prompted me to stop writing for the site because it was open to a larger audience and to more criticism. I blamed my lack of submissions on being busy and experiencing writer’s block; but to be completely transparent, I developed a fear of being rejected and not being approved of by those who read my work. I developed a belief that if everyone didn’t enjoy my writing then perhaps I shouldn’t write anymore. I actively avoided rejection and further criticism in order to feel safe and protected from the outside world. As a result, I put my love of writing for the website on hold because I feared other people’s opinions. Several months later, I felt a sense of urgency to come to terms with my fears around rejection and the need to be approved of by others. I had to put an end to this belief system that was stopping me from writing and getting my messages out into the world. I overcame this so that I could once again feel empowered enough to assist humanity through my writing. So how do I do it? Let me indulge you around this very common belief system and fear. Seeking approval from others is a deep need for many. From the time we are children, we are constantly looking up to our parents, elders, teachers, role models and friends to be accepted and in alignment with others and the world around us. As a result, it creates an internal belief system that we must take on other’s opinions and feelings about ourselves rather than formulate, learn about and listen to our own inner guidance system. In adulthood we constantly turn to the outside world for feedback looking for validation that we are acceptable, loveable and are on the right track in order to feel that we fit in and are good enough. This leads to dissatisfaction and discord from our true self and from whom we really are. Often we give up on our dreams and our goals because we fear judgment by others. This is how we, “play it safe,” in life or remain in a state of status quo by not pushing ourselves to move outside of our comfort zone because we don’t know how other people around us will react. Although these fears are valid and we all have a basic desire to be accepted and loved, as a result we may pursue other people’s unfulfilled dreams and end up measuring our self-worth and success on societal, social and collective beliefs and paradigms. How many of us have enrolled in educational programs or followed career paths because a family member told us to do so? How many times have we betrayed our heart’s true desires to follow the pack just so we belong or aren’t considered the “outsider?” It is in our human nature to want to be a part of a community and to feel a sense of belonging. But when that basic human need begins to sabotage and override our purpose, our spiritual path and our heart; we have a much bigger problem. We begin to paralyze ourselves from growing and evolving into the human beings we are meant to be! How can you put an end to this and get on with YOUR life? .
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