The child in us doesn’t like this arrangement; the adult in us accepts it as a given. It’s a grace when our emotional needs are met in a relationship—when someone welcomes our true emotions, as skillfully as we can share them. Nobody Home Being heard is important in any relationship. If someone close to you is never willing to hear you out, this is a different problem. For some, there is never a good time and place for your sharing to land. This is usually a sign of emotional unavailability. Ironically, such people often feel entitled and fine with sharing or dumping their emotional impact on us but not hearing or acknowledging anything in return. This is a form of narcissism, hypocrisy, and usually unreckoned, underlying wounding. If someone can’t hear us, it’s not a prompt to force our way into their fortress. It’s time to a) find a different way or reframe how we communicate to get through, b) seek the advice of a friend or therapist, or c) consider ending the relationship when they don’t change and you’ve done all you can to get through and get closer. Emotional Intelligence Anger has its place for expression. So does blame, for the accountability it asks for. So does crying and breaking down in front of someone we love. All emotions have their place in relating, but must be skillfully shared, which means being emotionally intelligent about how, when, why, and where we do. Being able to be vulnerable with another is key for intimacy and building a strong alliance. Without it, issues don’t get worked out and can lead to smoldering resentments that cause constant bickering, frustration, and passive-aggressive attacks. This is why good communication, which requires emotional wisdom, in relationships is so important. Such wisdom includes respecting another’s boundaries, even when we feel entitled to say something that’s unwelcome on the other end. None of this is easy, especially in the heat of the moment, and it’s an imperfect science. But we can usually do better. Respecting a “no” is ultimately respecting yourself and the inviolable sovereignty of another. Jack Adam Weber, L.Ac., M.A., is a Chinese medicine physician, having graduated valedictorian of his class in 2000. He has authored hundreds of articles, thousands of poems, and several books. Weber is an activist for embodied spirituality and writes extensively on the subjects of holistic medicine, emotional depth work, mind-body integration, and climate change, all the while challenging his readers to think and act outside the box. His latest creation is the Nourish Practice, a deeply restorative, embodied meditation practice as well as an educational guide for healing the wounds of childhood. His work can be found at jackadamweber.com, on Facebook, or on Twitter, where he can also be contacted for medical consultations and life-coaching. His new book on how to cope with climate change will be released in summer, 2020. Due to the pressure of mass censorship, we now have our own censorship-free, and ad-free on demand streaming network! It is the world's first and only conscious media network streaming mind-expanding interviews, news broadcasts, and conscious shows. Click here to start a FREE 7-Day Trial and watch 100's of hours of conscious media videos, that you won't see anyw.
Read the full article at the original website