What Your Most ‘Reasonable’ Justifications For Not Doing Things Really Say About Your Self-Growth

Perhaps it might be the quality of your relationships, your sense of community, or fulfilment at work, or maybe you hope to have less stress or a sense of greater mobility, abundance, and ease. In the deeply transformational work I do with clients as an intuitive life strategist, what I have come to know is that these desires really push you to take inventory of your situation — the state of your emotions, energy levels, finances, schedule, well-being, and health. And in taking this inventory and coming into an updated view of the level at which you have been functioning, if you are not happy with what you are seeing, it is completely natural for you to feel like you need to take charge — to take back control over your life. For example, you might feel moved to start attending a mindfulness, meditation, or yoga class as a way of helping yourself become more centred, relaxed, and in-tune with your body, thoughts around self-growth, and soul-level needs. Or you might feel like you need to look at your finances to see what other opportunities for re-training, travel, and recreation your current budget will enable you to afford. Another thing you might do is look closely at your schedule and see where you have perhaps been frittering away your time towards no definite end. Facebook, the internet, and television are good examples of devices that, in today’s technology driven world, many people use as ways to clear their minds or otherwise relax and ‘zone out.’ Taking a longer term look at your schedule, say over the next 3 to 12 months, also allows you to identify windows of time that you can devote exclusively to tuning into your wisdom and self-care, say through retreats or long weekend getaways with those you consider to be your tribe.

These are all very common DIY remedies that I see my clients embark on once they have gotten to a place where they have become so dissatisfied or disillusioned with functioning at a diminished capacity that every cell in their bodies becomes infused with the impulse for serious life-change. If you too have for some time been committed to taking steps such as these, huge kudos to you! They are so important and necessary because they are all ways of putting your relationship with yourself first, in order that you can be of any meaningful service to others in each of your other roles. Honouring your needs in these ways — ways that feel more aligned with who you fundamentally know yourself to be — is nothing less than you taking the first steps on your journey of transformation and change. And it does sometimes happen that you stumble into the very person, modality, or experience that acts as a catalyst to mobilise you further along from that inner place of determination and commitment to change. But what if you’ve already been carving out this sacred time for yourself for a while and you feel that, rather than living an authentic life filled with validation and love, you are seeking refuge from a life that, if you are really honest, still doesn’t actually honour and celebrate YOU? This happens so much more frequently than you think! It can be quite demoralising to know that you’ve been trying so earnestly to do everything within your power to change your situation, and despite your best intentions, there isn’t much in your external life that has actually changed. Sadly, I encounter so many people in precisely this situation who feel unsure of themselves, de-motivated, disempowered, and to a certain degree, defeated and stuck. What is always tremendously interesting however, is that if I sit with folks like these and we look deeply together at their thinking and innermost fears, almost always, we uncover that that person is actually at a place where their limiting beliefs have been kicking in, oftentimes in a very highly sophisticated way. The reason for this is because as a human being, you were born with an inborn instinct to survive. The idea of stepping into unknown territory can trigger either a reaction of excitement or one of fear. If you have been doing all the ‘right’ things to improve your happiness levels, enjoyment, and fulfilment of life but haven’t been able to get things in your outer world to change, there is a very strong possibility that there is a limiting system of beliefs in your psyche at work. Why would this be? The answer is that you are ready to step into a whole new level of possibilities for yourself, and without being able to put your finger on it, you have likely been at this place for a very long time. In some ways, you have already been aware that stepping into this new level will require you to completely close the door on the outdated relationships and various situations in your life. In this new place there is little sense of control of the type you get when you consciously decide you are going to go to mediation or yoga class, or mark out protected time for your self-care. In this new place there is little familiarity because you have finally said NO to all the things that haven’t been honouring the REAL you, and YES to having much more of who you really ARE. Once you’ve done this, to begin with, you will find yourself on new terrain with your self-trust and trust in the universal intelligence built into all things as your unfailing guides. It is vitally important to realise as you feel deeply into this new place that it is perfectly natural to feel fearful. Your inborn needs are just that — they are your NEEDS. They are not negotiable and they will never expire. You are being called to leave behind all of the old things that no longer serve you but which, up to this point, because of their predictability, have kept you feeling relatively safe. And even more curious about being at this place of huge potential for life-change is that the fear you experience causes a kind of spiritual amnesia that dulls your memory and deep understanding of how capable you truly are. It is however a universal truth that trusting yourself and your soul-level need to be happy and to thrive is actually the ONLY way that your life can change. It isn’t uncommon for you to struggle against the internal tide that is trying to turn deep within you in order that you can maintain the illusion of ‘knowing what you are doing,’ feeling or being seen to be ‘taking charge’ or ‘in control.’ And from this place of deep inner resistance and fear, you latch rigidly on to what seem to be perfectly legitimate justifications that you should continue doing whatever it is you’ve already been doing. This can sound like any one or all of the following: The thing is, no one has ever created big, meaningful life-changes by doing what they’ve always done. If any of these justifications sound familiar, consider that you would be doing yourself perhaps the biggest service EVER by being 100% honest and transparent right now and asking yourself the following 8 questions: .

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