Why You Sometimes Can’t Completely Go After What You Say You Want
So you have a big dream.You KNOW that, far from being stuck in a dead-end job that you hate (or worse, no job at all), you are meant to do great things in the world.
. You have this deep sense that your voice and message are hugely important — if only you knew what it sounded like and the exact contribution you were meant to make. You want more than anything to make your mark. To serve. To start your own business. To help the lost, vulnerable, disadvantaged, sick, and frail. You NEED to begin making a difference in the world because somehow, you’ll then feel more entitled, more justified in being here, taking up precious air, resources, and space on the planet. Because then you will have restored a sense of balance and it won’t feel so much like take, take, take. And here’s what... I SO get it. Some 20 odd years ago, I was at that precise place. My desire and will were there, but my understanding of myself was profoundly incomplete. I was too young. Too inexperienced. Too naive. I had never for a moment imagined that life was a journey and self-actualisation, a process... a path I needed to travel as I grew my self-acceptance, forgiveness and self-love... mostly with just my raw courage and self-trust. I had no idea of the size, soundness, and capability of my true inner self. It burned inside me every day as only soul-level discontent and frustration can. If you are seeing glimpses of your own deep inner feelings and story in mine, as restless and uncertain as this deep inner discontent can make you feel, here is what I have come to know: This deep burning inside is actually a not-so-gentle nudge from Spirit to seek out and/or create new opportunities to come to know and develop your innate tendencies and desires — even if you don’t know what they are. (Note: I am using the area of work as an example throughout this piece, as it is the area in which you most likely invest most of your attention, energy, and time, and also because the area of work and career is one of the first in which these cracks of deep inner discontent begin to show.) The idea of unwittingly not being able to fully go after what you say you want as it pertains to your sacred mission or career is such an important topic and one I see in my work with clients again and again. Indeed, because it is so complex and multilayered, it is one of those notions that can be difficult to articulate or grasp. I’ll try to capture it into a golden nugget for you here: The degree to which you are able to go after what you say you want right now is completely unique to you and depends on your level of self-awareness and life history so far. Let’s go a bit deeper with this idea... You see, as a human being, you are wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain. This is so much a part of your makeup that this survival mechanism is the driving force that moulds the precise quality of your experiences and relationships. Depending on your past circumstances and experiences, your fundamental views on who you believe yourself to be and what you can ultimately create or achieve are what determine your level of meaning and satisfaction in life right now. As you grow in your self-awareness and affinity for authentic expression, however, you become more aware of the areas — or blindspots — created by these views that hold you back from the deeper, more abundant, exhilarating and free experiences you naturally want to evolve into. So based on the premise that this built-in mechanism nudges you to seek out pleasure and protect you from pain, without realising it, you have internalised beliefs that don’t actually have a basis in present time and are therefore, just plain untrue. But that need to shield and protect yourself is so strong, it doesn’t even occur to you that you are basing your present time responses on past experiences of rejection, lack, humiliation, ridicule, and feeling unworthy or unloved. Can you see that this innate tendency not only narrows your understanding of who you are but also the full magnitude and depth of the sacred life’s mission you are meant to create? This is why often when folks come to me desperately wanting ‘clarity’ around their calling or soul’s purpose, they are often resistant at first to hear that the ‘questions behind the question’ are actually: Do you trust yourself enough to follow your intuition and re-negotiate your relationship to the status quo in order that you can create you own way? And... Are you ready to commit 110%, i.e. are you willing to do whatever it takes financially, emotionally, and time-wise in order to achieve the lifestyle and livelihood you say you want? Your answers to these questions are your one and only gauge in terms of how close you are to truly being able to improve your life. Your life’s purpose is not static. It changes and grows as you grow and evolve as your self-understanding and self-affinity grows and evolves. Even if it were a tangible and you knew what it was, you would struggle to bring it into reality to the depth, quality, clarity, and extent it is meant to be experienced in the world. Why? Because your life’s purpose is really an outward reflection of you becoming the fullest version of yourself. That means knowing, loving, and trusting who you are at your core. If these ingredients are missing, the sad truth is that your vision just ain’t gonna fly! So if you’ve been going after a vision on the external without addressing its relationship to your own self-actualisation, awareness, self-affinity, and growth, it is very likely that you’ve been finding it much more arduous and frustrating than you sense your life’s purpose should be. And you would be right, because for most folks, it is difficult to create a profound multi-dimensional thing such as life’s purpose with a purely linear, intellectual, or mental (one-dimensional) approach.
There is no way you can fully back up your bigger vision for your life with all your energy, presence, and untapped inner resources if you don’t possess an expansive understanding of who you ARE. By your very nature, you are multi-dimensional. If you are seeing this as the missing piece of the puzzle and want to explore this vital connection between your career and your real Self further, I’d love for you to be a part of my next free Career Direction Clarity Session on April 18, 2016! Places are limited so click here to register now. .
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