. Woah! Now that was a doozie of a sentence, wasn’t it? I like this part, “everyone would have to be honest.” Can you imagine everyone being honest, and how many good and bad consequences would come from that one action? Well, to be honest, being honest, at the end of the day, spells great achievements in life. Guess what, being vulnerable can help you become that honest person. Okay, now let’s look at the roadblock you got up. Being in a vulnerable state is not easy. It means tearing down that wall, letting down that guard, and opening up wide to the world....well, at least to loved ones and friends. It’s hard to be vulnerable to some people because it feels weak and makes you feel out of control. Society has taught us so many negative things like lying fixes problems, stealing gets you what you want, and being hard and tough saves your feelings. I wish I could heal the whole of society from this horrible misconception. But for now, let’s look at a few ways being vulnerable can benefit you as an individual. This might sound strange, but your self-esteem gets higher the more vulnerable you become. All that bragging and showing how tough you are behind your wall means nothing. What has true meaning is being able to share your feelings, including, shame. Yes, it is okay to feel shame at times, just make sure it’s valid, and not something someone told you to feel. Vulnerability can make you realize that everyone has both strengths and weaknesses and this is what helps you realize your worth. Being in the moment, right now, and feeling the truth of what you feel is amazing. Better yet, sharing those feelings, despite the fear you may have is liberating. Some people hold in their feelings because they’re afraid of losing people they love, but in the process, they cause intense stress within which affects the mind and body. Being present and being unafraid of what you’re feeling is one of the best mindsets around. Not being vulnerable means we become numb to our true feelings. Did you know that? Yep, it means that resentment pent up inside, and that shame hides underneath those feelings of unhappiness. Well, just like the bad feelings hiding away, the good feelings are doing the same things. You cannot possibly be truly happy unless you’re vulnerable. Without vulnerability, you are fake and anyone you try to love will be fake as well, at least most of the time. So, to be happy and find a truly happy person like you, stop holding all that good and bad inside. Let me tell you, true intimacy does not reside outside of vulnerable states. But because of all the heartbreak and divorce, being vulnerable is probably the scariest action in relationships. People are afraid.
They are so afraid of being hurt, rejected or left, that they create a person that doesn’t even exist. Here again, you see them building walls and practicing false personalities.
They do engage in intimacy, but it feels held back, stiff, and uninvolved. It’s as if we keep so much of ourselves locked away during the intimate time. We rather pretend like intimate acts are no big deal and simply walk away from a potentially healthy relationship. Being vulnerable will help you wade through the maybes and find the one who is truly right for you. Intimacy with the right person will be amazing. If someone else is being vulnerable about something negative they have done, instead of getting angry straight off, you can have a bit of compassion. This is where being vulnerable comes in. Being a person who can exhibit vulnerable attributes can help others who are being vulnerable because they can either relate, or they can help the other person put away shame.
Then forgiveness can be attained, which is the true benefit here. Vulnerability can also be a benefit in the workplace. So many people are afraid to speak up about new ideas or criticisms at work, especially in meetings or in the presence of the boss. But, if you can become courageous enough to voice your concerns, you’ve opened up a dialogue that makes coworkers tap into their vulnerability as well. If you want to see coworkers making connections, then vulnerability is the key. Your ideas and concerns can also profit your workplace as well. If you think about all the good points of vulnerability, you will see the strength in using this attribute. Remember, everyone has a vulnerable side, but few of us are fearless enough to use it. That’s the key right there. If we can take control of our fears, we can use our vulnerabilities, not to harm ourselves and others, but to help others come out of their shells as well. I encourage you to open up and let go today. You can start small, practice your vulnerabilities and see what happens. R.
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